Crazy Road Rage Outbursts

I hate rush hour traffic, for some reason between the hours of 7am-8:30am and 5pm – 6pm is the time for idiots and not just idiot car drivers where you wonder how much the test examiner took in dirty money to say “Yeah you’ve past” when they are the worst driver in the universe. Of course I mean them too but also farm vehicles, oh my gosh, get them out of my way NOW. I know they to are off to work their fields and they have a job to do to but then why the hell did the person who invented the tractor not invent them to go at the same speed as everyone else because seriously 20mph on a 60mph road stuck behind a tractor for 10 miles has seriously made me angry before I’ve even got in to work and had my first Hulk moment of the day And they know they’re holding up all the traffic and they enjoy it We pass several lay by’s on the way they could pull in for 5minutes and let some of the traffic past but NO, instead they sit there chuckling to themselves and you can’t over take because they’re so huge one wheel is as big as your whole car so naturally it’s taking up the whole road. Bullies, that’s what they are; tractors are the Bullies of the road. Then there’s the cyclists, the athletic, environmentally friendly “Serious cyclists” with there proper gear on and suit neatly folder in their rucksack on their backs. The cyclist that believe they could win the Tour De France and cycle miles and miles to work every morning. They are just as bad as Tractors, they hog the whole lane, peddling at the speed of light, their little legs going round so fast it’s like watching a hamster in his wheel and they actually think they’re racing you, granted they’re traveling around 25mph and if I attempted that I’d be dead but still, this does not impress me cycle people, I don’t care that you think you’re the bionic man and could outrun a small moped (or hairdryer), just get in to the cycle lane where you belong and watch where you’re bloody going before a tractor comes along and runs you down. Then to top of your hour long commute the local radio station has started playing Christmas songs. Now I love Christmas (despite the bar humbug persona!) but it’s not even December yet and there’s Christmas light switch ons going on in town centres, there’s even a house in the next village along with lights on their house already (they went up last week!) IT’S TO SOON PEOPLE. Maybe the middle to the end of next week but beginning the first week of November…. NO.

The thing is the moment you see the first sign of Christmas it then becomes one big mad panic because you realise, well I realise, that I am so disorganised and I have about 7 weeks to buy and afford in the first place, presents for what seems like the whole world then there’s Christmas food, what to have on what days? Who’s coming over on what days? Who eats what? Then how much wrapping paper do we need, when should we get the tree, when should we put the tree up (NOT in November) all this stress added on to your existing stress of work and other financial responsibilities and you have the entire month of December slowly giving you a heart attack so why on Earth do people want to start it all in November??? And then when it actually snows in December it makes the Tractors and the Bionic cyclists even more dangerous!!! GRR

Confession – My traffic jam filled commute this morning was made more enjoyable by singing along to Mariah Carey’s All I want For Christmas in a style of performing live at Wembley Stadium – HELP ME they are converting me slowly

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